In the Yorkshire Post following the death of his wife. The couple had
been happily married for 50 years.
The husband contacted the newspaper regarding an obituary. When
informed of the cost, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion, “How
He reluctantly produced his wallet. “I want summat simple” he explained,
“our Gladys was a good-hearted, hard-working Yorkshire lass but she
wunt ave wanted owt swanky.”
“Perhaps a small poem”, suggested the woman at the desk.
“Nay”, he said, “she wunt ave wanted anything la-di-da, just put;
‘Gladys Braithwaite died’”.
“You need to say when”, he was told by the receptionist.
“Do I? Well, put died 17th Jan 2016. That’ll do”.
“It is usual for the bereaved to add some meaningful phrase about the
The man considered for a moment. “Well, put in, ‘Sadly missed’.
That’ll do”, he said.
“You can have another four words”, the woman explained.
“No, no”, he cried, “she wouldn’ ave wanted me to splash out”.
“The words are included in the price”, the woman informed him.
“Are they? You mean I’ve paid for ’em?”.
“Well, if I’ve paid for ’em , I’m ‘avin them”.
The obituary was duly printed as follows:
Gladys Braithwaite died, 17th January 2016. Sadly missed. Also tractor for sale.